I shall begin by defending myself from the accusations in your last letter. If you remember, you were the one to first compare yourself to a Society Mama, I shall not take the blame for it, I shall only take the greatest satisfaction in allaying myself of it. Furthermore, you cannot be so indignant about it if you are going to end your letter 'is there anyone who has captured your fancy yet?' You must pick a side, dearest, you cannot have both.
I do apologize for insulting your men. It is an entire vocabulary that is lost to me. I am simply glad that I can remember the difference between a ship and a boat. Perhaps it is because when you were learning all of these things I was at finishing school. I promise I shall never be cross with you if you mistake the difference between a blanket stitch and a slip stitch if you'll please forgive my own lapse.
However, at the risk of seeming the harpy, I will not apologize for being worried about your safety and continue to ask you to be careful. I have no wish for you to disregard your git. As you say, it is as valuable as any of your other senses. As valuable as, Joshua, nt more than or less than, but equally. Do not neglect the others for the sake of one. After all, possessing sight does not rob you of the pleasure of music. Nor should seeing the future stop you from seeing the present.
You know that I only worry about you because I love you. Not because I think you incompetant in any way. You have been taking care of yourself in dangerous situations very well without any help from me, I know. Perphas the concerns of one young miss are highly annoying to an experienced officer, but I ask your forebearance to let me continue as I have.
I have made headway concerning the earrings. The charms themselves are simple ones. And now I take a leaf from your book to say that I really don't need protection from glamories, as you seem to think. If you'll kindly remember, I was the only one who didn't like that chef your father hired and we all know what he turned out to be. And of course there are the standard charms to protect the gems from damage and add lustre and sparkle. But there's something else woven underneath them all that's very subtle. I am proceeding carefully so that I don't unravel it alltogether before I learn what it is. I know it's not the way the gift works, but I'm half tempted to send them back to you to ask Theophile who they belonged to. Besides, I rather believe that they were probably witness to an intimate encounter with a large heavy blade in the recent past, as Papa might say.
Things continue to be stifiling, dull and irritating all at once here in London. It's rather like the very air has turned into a coarse wool sweater, complete with the smell of lanolin. Aunt Constance does not live up to her name for she is not at all constant. Though she is rather shrews in her own way. Whenever I seem to display any bluestocking or hoydenish tendencies she is quick to attack. But in the sort of circumstances one is generally supposed to have a chaperone she is conspicuously absent. I believe she's waiting for some incident so she can swoop down and declare I've been ruines and make the poor innocent marry me. As I said, shrewd, but inherently flawed. I promise my own conduct has been sterling and that any man who tried anything would regret it.
The most exciting thing that has happened lately is that the Wretch ate a pair of my slippers. And I do mean ate. This was no case of a simple destruction as most dogs do, they were devoured sole and all. If it were not for the rose ribbon lodged in its teeth like a bizzare garnish I would have suspected them to be merely missing.
I was just abot to write my goodbyes when I recieved your caller. Bravo with your letter of introduction, Joshua, not even Aunt Constance could find fault with it. It was lovely to meet Lieutenant O'Cullan whom you've spoken of so often. And I can see where you picked up some of your mannerisms. Or perhaps he has them from you? At any rate it was a delightful surprise, almost like having you home again.
Aunt Constance's hospitality proved to be everything I have come to expect from her. meaning that the poor Lt. soon found the atmosphere to be so unbearable that he asked for a tour of the garden. The garden is slightly larger than my handkerchief, but I gladly agreed to have some relief fom my aunt as well.
We spoke mostly of you, but I assure you it was generally complimentary. It is good to know you have found a true friend and comrade who clearly knows your worth.
I congratulated him on his soon to be Captaincy adn he informed me that we are soon to have another sailor in your family. And I shall have another cousin whom I can insult by mixing up my terminology. So please pass along my congratulations to Theophile as well.
You know, Cousin, for a man who insists that nothing of any interest is happening, you have the most melodramatic methods. When the good Lt. arrived I thought it might be to pass along some sort of news. As I wrote, I was wholly pleased with the introduction, but surely the man has better thing to do than to pass along information that you've written already in spades. I had to lie to Aunt Constance and say that he was married lest she go off on the wrong tangent and deny him all access. Post Captain or not, Aunt does not have a high opinion of the Irish, which proves in a point how simply odious she is.
But in light of the fact that he told me only trifels, the only conclusion I can come to is that you in fact sent him to check on me. In which case I will reiterate that I am disgruntled but fine. I am not about to go into a decline or run off to Scotland or anything else. May Aunt Constance do her worst, I am ready for her, and her little dog too.
Your Loving Cousin,
P.S. My silencing charms are perfectly sound. You're thinking of my skills before I went to finishing school. Before I had Miss Rose Ford for a roommate. If for any reason you should ever consider marriage to her don't. She snores quite terribly and I had to defend myself.